27th May, 3rds v Staines & Laleham CC


Match Report by Keith Dimond

All you had to do, Ket, was win the toss and leave it to El Capitan to make the call – oh, and for a few of us to bat straight…

It was a Cabbage Patch of a pitch. I am no cricket purist and love agricultural cricket with the best of them but when the bowlers are aiming to pitch the ball on the dandelion leaves even I get a bit snobby.

However we didn’t bat well, and S&L bowled medium pace line and length and let the pitch do the rest which indeed it did… and very quickly at that.

It’s hard to find any redeeming points about the batting performance this week and when only one batsman gets into double figures, I think it is best we move on as quickly as our innings did.

We were out for 50 before they had even started cutting the Pork Pies into quarters.

So it was on to a quick turnaround, with David dreaming of a nice early start up the M4 to Cardiff to see his Mum, and I can’t lie but I did suddenly realise that a birthday BBQ for the Wife’s Birthday and the opportunity to watch the FA Cup final had suddenly become a real possibility…

And yet..

The WVCC 3XI went out to field with real purpose, we are either over-keen (pleased to still be playing etc..), stupid or (as I would prefer to think) totally committed to the cause that we could still do this… Rumours were rife that S&L would have been fearful had we made 3 figures and if we could just get that early break through…

We sort of did, but not quite (had them 3 wickets down for 15), and then the game drifted out of reach all too quickly, with a total that was just too small to defend -and, yes, if we had made 3 figures, it could have been very different.

The fielding highlights were: Kets taking a decent stumping, David looking like he had caught the ball between his teeth, and Satish taking a fine catch off Joseph out deep.

The Boy Hads was, I think, the pick of the bowling but, alas, his best balls just outside off stump were too quick for S&L, and so it was that we only knocked over the wood once. I hope, Hads, you did at least got some light relief from your ‘A’ Level studies, and a few extra hours’ revision in…

The spirit and endeavour was there in the field but the number of runs to defend wasn’t.

Special thought goes out to Paul who looked like he was taken out by a Staines Massive (Staines Upon Thames) Sniper when his calf muscle popped at point… Good luck with the recovery.

Quote of the day goes to my son who is abstaining from cricket until GCSEs are out of the way. ‘If I had known you would be home this quick I would have played…’ (Is it wrong to whack a 16 year old over the head with a cricket bat?).

Lastly.. If anyone has an old ‘A-Z’ , can you lend it to Matty P. , Google Maps is not quite cracked up to what you think it is…

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